23. Masculinity in Singleness

Although this article will be focused on men in singleness my hope is that it will be beneficial to all who are single or in a relationship. Before looking at this topic of singleness and how Scripture commands men, I believe we must consider and remember who God is and whose word we will consider. He is the creator and sustainer of all things. He rules over creation completely, sovereignly, and perfectly for His glory.

He created us, gives us breath, and sustains our day. He created us specifically to bear His image, and one of the ways we get to image our God is through having relationships. We were created to be in fellowship with God, but sin separated that perfect relationship and made us all enemies of God. So as we approach this topic may we remember that He created us. He knows our needs and takes care of us. He is perfectly sovereign over our days and ordains them according to His good pleasure and will. As a result, we must not look back on the past to question the plan of God but remember His glorious work in sanctifying us through it. We must by the grace of God, remember how He has worked, and look forward for how He will work and how we are to glorify God with the season He has placed us in.

Concerning Marriage

As we have already explored in this series, we saw that God created marriage to be a permanent covenant of one man and one woman until death. God created the marriage covenant and it is good, beautiful, and a blessing. God instructed the man in Genesis 2:24 to leave the home and cleave to his wife. He gave man and woman the desire for each other and commanded them to cleave to one another in covenant.

Concerning Sexual Immorality

However, due to the depravity of mankind's sinful heart, many have cleaved outside of the covenant, or have cleaved to another, forsaking the previous covenant they had made before God. This was the case in the Corinthians church and Paul wrote to address such matters. The city of Corinth was full of all kinds of sexual immorality as evidenced by Paul addressing it in multiple chapters. In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul makes mention of a man who had his father's wife and commands the church to exercise church discipline so that the man would be removed from the assembly and thus repent of his deeds.

Paul gives instructions on how to avoid these sins and how to cleave well in chapter 7.

Paul mentions that to avoid these sins and guard the desires God gave to men and women is to cleave and to cleave faithfully. Men and women are by God's grace called to cleave to one another faithfully and forever for the glory of God. It will protect against sexual immorality and place the desire He gave to men and women for the other sex to find its right fulfillment in marriage. Paul in the next couple of verses explains how men and women are to love each other and protect each other from forsaking the covenant of cleaving and subsequently sinning.

Concerning Singleness

As Paul instructed those who were married he also spoke to those who were not married.

Paul desired that more men were like him. Paul was an ambassador for the gospel and God sovereignly called him to that noble position. As Paul labored vigorously for the Gospel, His desire was to see Christ proclaimed in nations where Christ was not known. God called him to that role and gave him the desire to remain single. Paul's desire was that more men would be in his single state and have the singular focus of proclaiming Christ. He also recognizes that God has not given that state to most men and instructs them to marry so as to not burn with passion, and neglect the good desire to marry.

Many things should come to light regarding this text. The desire for marriage is good and if the Lord provides it is a good thing so as not to burn with passion. The single state desire is good as well. It can be spent burning with a passion to proclaim Christ. Whatever gift the Lord gives you if it is a desire for marriage, or a single state burning with a passion to proclaim Him at this moment glorify Him. Those in a single state recognize that the Lord may open marriage as a gift at some point, but don't neglect the state you are in. For those burning with passion and desiring marriage, glorify God, serve Him, and prepare well to cleave. But at the end of the day whether cleaving in marriage, considering the prospect of cleaving, or focused on singleness may our days be spent proclaiming the person and work of Christ to the nations.

Concerning Manhood

Now directing our focus to men, here are some of Paul's final instructions to the church at Corinth and in it writes to men.

We are called to be watchful and on the alert for many things. Be watchful of false teaching. Watch how you walk and conduct yourself by His grace more in the image of His son. Stand at the watchtower of your soul and watch for satan's advances and darts that arise from your sin-corrupted flesh. Watch for ways to serve the body of Christ, ways you can love your neighbor, and as you watch be ready to tell about the hope that is in you.

Be firm in your faith. Know the Word of God, and hold fast to every facet of it from its commands to its promises. Our strength must be found in the Lord because without it we cannot stand firm. We need to have our confidence and hope in the Lord because without it we will be tossed to and fro by man and his opinion. Brothers and sisters if the Lord is not your joy, strength, and confidence you will be tossed in your pursuit of marriage. Souls and lives have been shipwrecked in the pursuit of marriage because the pursuit of earthly joy has superseded the eternal joy that comes from being found in Christ. Do not gain the earthly joy of a spouse and lose your soul in the process.

Act Like Men

Brothers, the calling is to act in accordance with the good masculine nature that God created us. God gave us a masculine nature that permeates our entire nature. Through our bodies, how we act, think and what motivates us, our masculine nature should and will show. God built us to be builders, to take dominion on the earth, to lead the church, home, and society, and to make radical sacrifices for our families, churches, and societies.

This is our calling as men and as we act, we do it out of love. The love we have for Christ, and His bride should compel us to suffer and make radical sacrifices for our families, our churches, and our countries. Men use the strength God has given you to glorify God as you lead, love, and seek the welfare of His bride, your family, and your country. Act like men, not like wimps, or like sluggards.

Be Subject

As we act like men there are thorns on the path that will hurt us. Thorns from sin's curse on our work, and thorns that proceed from our sinful body of flesh.

One of the greatest thorns that results from our flesh is the thorn of pride. It grows with good fruit often unnoticed but if not carefully weeded out will kill the good crop. Pride thrives in good pursuits. Whether it be a good endeavor to grow in our knowledge of God, or reading the Word our flesh loves to think we are superior than others because of Godly pursuits. Friends, be on guard against spiritual and theological pride that hides so well and clothe yourself with humility. Be subject and submit yourself to the Word and your elders. Spiritual elders are to watch over our conduct and teach us as we seek to grow in the knowledge of Christ. Learn to submit well so you can put pride to death as you seek to grow in humility and love for one another.

Look to Christ

We must put our gaze on Christ if we desire to honor the Lord in singleness. When we don't we will be discontent, lazy in our obedience to God, and question the work and ways of God. May we rejoice and use this season and every season to love others as we sacrificially serve, and proclaim Christ to the glory of God.

While many look to and think about the prospect of a relationship, marriage, and the wedding day may we all ultimately look forward to a greater day, and a great marriage. The day when Christ's bride the church will feast on the best wedding day and supper one can imagine when we are with the Lord worshipping at His feet.

Works Cited

Beeke , Joel. “Biblical Propositions and Practical Advice for Singles.” Church & Family Life, 20 May 2021, churchandfamilylife.com/resources/60ca666f97de084c53254383.

Scripture quotations taken from the (LSB®) Legacy Standard Bible®, Copyright © 2021 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Managed in partnership with Three Sixteen Publishing Inc. LSBible.org and 316publishing.com.

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